Can a Landlord Ask About a Tenant's Relationship Status?

When I was a brand-new landlord, I almost stepped into a legal minefield without even knowing it. A nice young couple came to see my rental, and as I showed them around, I asked, “So, are you two married?” It felt like friendly conversation. My partner, who had been in the business for decades, pulled me aside right after and said, “Do not ever ask that.” I was confused. What was the big deal? That’s when I learned about familial status discrimination under the Fair Housing Act. Since then, I’ve never asked a tenant about their relationship status again, and here’s why you shouldn’t either.

Why It’s a Problem

Asking about relationship status might seem harmless, but fair housing laws take a dim view of it. The issue is that relationship questions can be a sneaky way to discriminate against protected groups. For example, if you refuse to rent to unmarried couples, you might be indirectly discriminating against families with children—since many unmarried couples have kids. Or you could be violating local laws that explicitly protect marital status. Even if that’s not your intent, a fair housing investigator will look at the effect, not just your motive. One complaint can trigger an investigation, fines, and mandatory fair housing training—costs that can run into five-figure territory when you factor in legal fees and lost time.

What the Law Actually Protects

The federal Fair Housing Act protects seven classes: race, color, religion, national origin, sex, disability, and familial status. Familial status means you can’t discriminate against households with children under 18, pregnant women, or anyone in the process of adopting or gaining custody. Marital status isn’t spelled out at the federal level, but many states and cities add it. Even where it’s not directly protected, courts have found that asking about relationship status can be a proxy for familial status or sexual orientation discrimination. Simply put: it’s a risky question with no upside. I’m not a lawyer and this isn’t legal advice—here’s what I would do, but check your local laws and talk to a qualified attorney first.

The Right Way to Screen Tenants

So, how do you evaluate applicants without prying into their personal lives? Focus strictly on objective, business-related criteria. That’s the core of tenant screening: checking income, credit history, rental references, and criminal background (where allowed by law). When a couple applies, I screen each adult individually. I verify employment and income for both, pull credit reports on both, and check their rental histories. Their relationship status doesn’t affect my decision—it’s all about whether they can pay and have a history of being good tenants.

If you need to document who will occupy the unit, you can ask every applicant to list all intended occupants, including children. That’s standard practice and helps you manage occupancy limits. Just make sure you ask every single applicant the same questions, the same way, every time.

Other Red-Flag Questions to Avoid

Relationship status isn’t the only loaded question. Steer clear of anything that could touch on a protected characteristic: “How many kids do you plan to have?” “Are you pregnant?” “What church do you attend?” “Where are you from originally?” These aren’t just rude—they can land you in hot water. If you’re ever tempted to ask a personal question during a showing or interview, ask yourself, “Would I ask this in a job interview?” If not, don’t ask it now.

When in Doubt, Get Advice

Laws vary by state and even by city. What’s fine in one jurisdiction might be illegal in the next. That’s why I always recommend new landlords spend time learning the fair housing rules that apply to them and consult with a local attorney who specializes in landlord-tenant law. It’s a small upfront investment that can save you from a massive headache later.

I’ve been managing properties long enough to know that a friendly chat can feel natural, but it’s just not worth the risk. Stick to the numbers, treat everyone the same, and you’ll build a residential rental business that’s fair, legal, and practically hassle-free.